I woke up @ the crack of 9 am, rubbed the sleep out of my eyes & went across the street to check the surf. Super-flat & blown out again. Damn! I'm up & motivated so what the hell am I supposed to do now??? Solve world hunger? Nope! Clean the bathroon? No way! I am definitely not motivated enough to do that. Besides, my Haz-Mat gear hasn't arrived yet for that ordeal. I know, let's go for a run! I haven't ran in over 2 months. I recently purchased some expensive new running shoes for just this endeavor.
Now there are many types of shape you can be in. I for one, am in very good swimming & surfing shape(We'll get to the swimming later on in this post. It directly ties in with Hot Naked Girl. But stick with me people. This part's interesting too!). So I slip into my new running shoes along with some comfortable shorts & an old 'Danzig' t-shirt, then bound down to the boardwalk just above the beach. It's another perfect Southern California day 75 & sunny. It's so confortable sometimes that it's downright disgusting. Many moons ago when I made my pilgrimage out here to the promised land, I checked off on a calendar how many days before it rained. 94 fucking days! Manifest destiny? I think so! But I digress, back to the run. The music of choice on my i-pod for the run was Andrew W.K. What's that, you've never heard of Andrew W.K.??? Andrew W.K. was popular for about a blink back when 'Jackass' was all the rage(God I love that show!). Mr. W.K. wrote such unforgettable anthems as; It's Time To Party, Party Hard, Party Till You Puke, Long Live The Party & my personal favorite, Make Sex. He sounds like a screaming Randy Newman on steroids smashing his face against the wall. The perfect motivational music for a run! I was feeling pretty good as the run progressed. No strains or aches. I made it down to 'World Famous' restaurant(Best lobster tacos in town. I swear to God!) & turned around to head back; that's when I hit my wall. I forgot that the inital stretch of my run was on a gradual decline. Now that I had switched directions I was running back up an incline against the wind. Oh shit! My lungs pumped out battery acid as I huffed & puffed my way home. That's when I came to the realization that I am most definitely not in running shape. Since I'm a bit of a masochist when it comes to my workouts, I will be running this route again tomorrow!
When unfortunate circumstances comes one's way, some people turn to religion; some people have a spirit animal a la' 'Fight Club,' I have Hot Naked Girl. When my fiancee & I broke up, Hot Naked Girl was there for me. Right before I came down with the horrible sinus & ear infections, Hot Naked Girl was there for me. And the morning after I was fired last Friday, Hot Naked Girl was there for me again! Now I know what you're thinking right now, Biff loves him some strip joints! Now I do, but Hot Naked Girl is not a stripper. Oh no, no, no my dear readers. Hot Naked Girl swims @ the outdoor lap pool @ my gym!
Now there isn't a hole in the wall that leads to the women's locker room you pervs! There's a wall with a stairwell that's adjacent to the swimming lanes. When Hot Naked Girl is finished swimming, she goes over to the steps behind the wall to towel off & change. What Hot Naked Girl doesn't realize is that if you're swimming in one of the lap lanes you have a clear view behind the wall. I have seen Hot Naked Girl completely nude in various states of stretching & bending over not once, not twice, but 8 times! It's like we're on the same fucking wave-length! Every time this past month that I've been really upset & down on myself, out pops Hot Naked Girl showing her naughty bits to me. Hot Naked Girl isn't your typical naked woman either. She's athletic with curves. This is pretty much 'Biff Catnip' & I'm powerless when I come across this type of woman.
Now I could be a gentleman & let her know that she's putting on a free show, but Damn it, the little 12 year old perverted boy that still lives in my head wins every single time! The last time that Hot Naked Girl was changing, we ended up leaving around the same time. I held open the door for her & for the 1st time actually paid attention to her face. She was beautiful with big brown eyes. She looked into my eyes & said, 'Thanks Cutie' with a wink & then she was gone. Every once in a while you just need a Hot Naked Girl to put things into perspective. Thank you Hot Naked Girl! Until we meet again....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment